the lone bride and her nightmares
Monday, August 09, 2004
mood:
where most brides-to-be are moving heaven and hell to lose weight, i think i am alone in my quest to actually gain weight for my wedding. seriously.
have you actually bought (or borrowed, if you like to scrimp like i do) a magazine that actually advised brides-to-be to eat everything in sight short of the linen and the china? that actually told brides-to-be to head for the nearest baskin robbins and try all 31 flavors just for fun? that actually encouraged brides-to-be to veg out in front of the telly with maybe 5 different flavors of potato chips while going through a csi 24-hour marathon?
[if you answered yes to any of the previous questions, may i borrow the mag please?]
i am now on a serious crash course to gain weight. considering that i am vertically challenged, i can't gain too much weight either. i would probably end up looking like a rolly polly (you remember those toys you used to have as a kid? they're inflatable and they have a heavy base so that when you punch it or kick it, it will just bounce back and hit you in the face? damn, i hated those things).
i know what some of you einsteins are thinking. i mean, how difficult is it to gain weight? all i have to do is eat and eat and eat, right? well, if it were that easy, let me throw the question back at you. how difficult is it to lose weight? shouldn't you just NOT eat and eat and eat?
aaaanyway, i keep reminding myself that my first fitting for my wedding gown is probably this september already. that's just a month away. well, my designer did say that i didn't have to worry because i will have a lot of fittings from now till april to ensure that come my wedding day, the fit is still perfect. so the gown will gain weight as i gain weight, and lose weight as i lose weight? hmmmm...cool! and reassuring.
i'm quite worried too that if i don't gain enough weight, and i plan to wear a strapless gown, what if the gown won't hold? even my fiance belittles (no pun intended) my practically non-existent breasts. he says i don't have breasts, just pigmentation. [this is the part where i seriously consider why i'm marrying this eeeeevil man.]
and nightmare of all nightmares...what if, on my wedding day, as i throw my bouquet of tulips and calla lillies out to the eager crowd of single ladies behind me, all clamoring for what is considered the holy grail of the single woman...my bustier just slips and out show my "pigmentation"? HOLY PAK!
i think it's time for a late-night raid of the refrigerator....
tin ni roLand | 9:59 PM | |
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